More Jokes

Laloo, Rabri and his son were returning from south by train. Laloo was ccupying the lower berth, Rabri the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train compartment. The train stopped at one of the stations on the way back and the son asked Laloo to bring him a Cadburys chocolate. When Laloo and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Upset and angry, Laloo called the Ticket checker & asked him to help. The Ticket checker said that he could not understand Hindi or Bihari so it would be nice if Laloo explained the whole situation to him in English. So Laloo explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

Password Problem:

Bhola calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with his password. No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem.
"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," he says.
"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."

"Yeah," he says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."

Project Manager VS Programmer

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts,
'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I Would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'
The man below says, 'Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, Hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude.'
'You must be a programmer,' says the balloonist.
'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is Technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your Information and the fact is I am still lost.'
The man below says, 'You must be a project manager 'I am,' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'
'Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you are, or where You are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to Keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.'

IT guys and the genie

Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says 'Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish.'
The hardware engineer went first. I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in Shimla with no money worries. The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to Shimla.
The software engineer went next. I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries. The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.
Last, but not the least, it was the project manager's turn. 'And what would your wish be?' asked the genie.
I want them both back after lunch replied the project manager.

Computer Terminology

ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
WWW - World Wide Wait
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math
NT - Network Tragedy
DNS - Does Nothing Special
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

SoftWare Programming for Females

SoftWare Programming in C++ for Structure of Females!
struct female_professionals{double styles;

short skirts;

long time_to_understand_problems;

float mind;

void knowledge;

char non_co-operative;

} ;

struct married_females{

double weight;

short tempered;

long gossip;

float hopes;

void word;

char unstable;

} ;

struct engaged_females{

double time_on_phone;

short attention_on_work;

long boast;

float on_cloud_nine;

void understanding;

char edgy;

} ;

struct newly_married_females

{ double dinner_invitation;

short time_at_work;

long lunch_break;

void bank_balance;

char hen_pecked;

} ;

struct husband_wife_professionals{

double income;

short tempered;

long time_no_see_each_other;

void love_life;

char money_making;

} ;

struct beautiful_city_girl{

double boyfriends;

short affairs;

long stories;

void greymatter;

char flirt;

} ;

struct old_lady{

double chin ;

short memory;

long sighs ;

void attention_from_men;

char chatterbox;

};

Which Type of Woman Is Yours?

HARD-DISK woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM woman: She forgets about you the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER woman: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET woman: Difficult to access.
SERVER woman: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM woman: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS woman: Also known as "wife" when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.